The Players

Joined in 2013, has played 13 tours with victories in 2015 and 2025, boasts eight Ryder Cup wins (2013-2024), and recorded a best round of 131 in 2020 in the Wes Kaap - proof that form is temporary, but this oke's chaos delivers.

Joined in 2013, 13 tours deep with a 2024 win, seven Ryder Cup titles (2016-2025), and a sharp 128 at Wes Kaap - a consistent performer who shows up when it matters most with his old tannie fade of the tee.

Joined in 2013, 12 tours in with a 2018 win, four Ryder Cup titles (2018, 2021, 2022, 2025), and a best round of 122 at Suidkus - sealed with a legendary 6-iron off the tee, all carefully tracked on his Excel sheets as the group's resident organiser.

Joined in 2013, 13 tours in with three tour wins (2014, 2021, 2023), six Ryder Cup titles (2019-2025), and a best round of 138 at Tuinroete - aggressive off the tee with a signature pre-shot wiggle, and always ready with 'but did you die?' when things go sideways.

Joined in 2018, 8 tours in with a 2020 tour win, Ryder Cup titles in 2020 and 2026, plus a best round of 136 at Wes Kaap - dangerous when momentum swings, and just like on WhatsApp, stays deadly quiet while everyone else is taking their shots.

Joined in 2019 with three Ryder Cup wins (2019, 2020, 2026) and a slick 121 at Wes Kaap in 2024 - the tour's resident chef and easily the nicest oke in the group, until he starts cooking on the course.

Joined in 2018, 5 tours in with an unbeaten Ryder Cup record (2018-2026) and a best round of 128 at Limpopo in 2021 - runs on brandy, no sleep, too much swearing, apparently looks like an Oom, and still somehow never loses.

Joined in 2023, 3 tours in with two Ryder Cup wins (2023, 2024) and a sharp 102 at Wes Kaap in 2024 - always ready with a joke to set the mood, usually followed by a side story that curves more than his draw.

Joined in 2023, 3 tours in with Ryder Cup wins in 2025 and 2026 and a best round of 110 at Wes Kaap in 2024 - hates day 3 of golf, but drops wisdom like Yoda and looks a bit like him too.

Joined in 2023, 3 tours in with a Ryder Cup win in 2024 and a best round of 127 in 2026 at PE Tour - gets better as the tour goes on, runs strong on beer, and turns into a proper problem in Ryder Cup matches.

Joined in 2025, now carrying the 2026 tour win, Ryder Cup wins in 2025 and 2026, and a best round of 136 at PE Tour - already picked up a burn injury and a fresh pair of golf shoes, favourite place to sleep is on an ottoman.

Joined in 2025, two tours in with a best round of 111 in 2026 at PE Tour - takes plenty of flack for not being the tallest, but makes up for it where it counts: in his short game.

Joined in 2026, opened the account with a Ryder Cup win and a best round of 106 at PE Tour - no shortage of confidence, and now just enough evidence to be irritating about it.